And the dance moms emerge from the basement studio. Flip flops flapping. Car doors unlocking with a beep. They simultaneously flip their sunglasses over their eyes. Determination sets in.
Must get a skinny vanilla latte.
i want my children to grow up barefoot running through the woods. I want them to know the feeling of the trees growing around them, to recognize the gurgle of a stream before they see it, to know the taste of a blackberry from a bush long before the taste of a chip. I want my children to experience the earth we came from through touch, not pictures, and video games. And I want to be right there with them through all of it.
The last time I saw my sister was 119 weeks ago.
But I feel her everywhere.
Every time I see a flock of birds flying as one in the sky.
Every time the clouds open up and let rays of her light shine on us
Each new song I hear and I know it would’ve been her new favourite as well
Every time a gust of warm wind blows into me
Each time I walk by the river and watch the water run over the rocks. And I hear the sound of the water trickle by
Every time I look into Cobalt-Blues eyes and see her soul staring back at me
Her ashes have become nature and I’m able to see her and feel her all around me
And I think about those things and I am grateful because it’s often enough. But sometimes I want to talk to her. I want to know her and be like her and look up to her.
Sometimes it’s not enough to see her in nature. And when those times come around, it’s hard. Incredibly hard.
If I was a man (my brother, father, or husband) who was respectful of women, I wouldn’t feel attacked by the #yesallwomen conversation. I would see it at a clear calling to myself, and all other men out there. If I was a man and I cherished and respected women, I would promote this fact. I would call out my buddies who are being pigs at the bar. I would give my coworkers shit for treating female customers poorly. I would do whatever it takes to show everyone that I respect women and that it’s extremely easy to do so. Because clearly not enough men do this. Women are so afraid and their fear is completely “normal”. And if I was a man I would want to change that. And I think that what’s funny about it is that it’s up to men to be the change.
Us women can stand up for ourselves and demand respect and treat all people with respect and raise our children, boys and girls, to treat others with respect. We can do all those things but we can’t physically crawl into a mans brain and stop him from cat calling a lady down the street. It’s up to those men to see how completely messed up this is and change themselves. The only way they can do that is by seeing just how their actions affect us every day. And that’s why we have to keep talking about how messed up it is.
Not all men!
Yes but enough men that every girl is terrified of smiling to that guy on the bus or talking with the boy in the coffee shop. Every girl has been walking late at night at one point and been afraid of who might be following her. Every girl has referred to someone as a “creep” and every girl has refused a drink from someone she doesn’t know.
Not all men.
But enough men that all women are now afraid of most men.
It’s gotten so bad that we have to be afraid of even telling you we are afraid. We can’t ask that you please stop talking to us. Because if we do we run the risk of being labeled a “stuck up bitch” and blamed for murders and rapes in which we are the victims.
So we speak to you with body language that we hope you’ll understand. We cross our legs and look out the window and wear giant headphones that are giant signs that subtly read “DON’T TALK TO ME!” But you insist on ignoring those signs because you have it in your head that our body language doesn’t mean anything. That our bodies aren’t our bodies.
Not all men.
You can start fucking saying that when all women can stop being afraid. But that’s not gonna happen if every man a women opens up to about this issue dismisses her by saying “Not all men.”
unofficial letter to the skeezball at work all men.